January 2018

So long and good luck Mathew.


Odd dream

I had this dream about having a long talk with Johannah’s mother. Not sure where we were but it wasn’t a home I recognized. The talk was cordial.  She seemed sad as we talked about life,marriage and such.

Before long her mother turned into a black man wearing a suit yet we still talked about the marriage. We were standing outside on the roof of a downtown building.

I asked him if there was anyway to get Johannah back and he looked at me as he slipped beneath the water of the pool we suddenly were in and said,“I’m sorry to be the one that has to tell you no.”

I felt sad but ok with it.


Howdy World

Been a while since I updated.

Crazy busy at work.  Crazy busy.

It’s been a tough year losing Johannah.  There was a lot of fear,grief and anger.  There still is some days.  It is hard losing your partner. There are days I feel like a wounded dog;I don’t mean to lash out but there are times I just hurt.

I’m not going to talk about Johannah on this site beyond my person travels trying to heal myself at this difficult time.  She’s got her own life to lead and I will not speculate on what’s going on with her there.  I’ve just closed my site that focused the last years of marriage and the year of our divorce.

Started reading The Art of Forgiveness,Lovingkindness,and Peace,by Jack Kornfield.

“If you let go a little,you will have a little happiness.
If you let go a lot,you will have a lot of happiness.
If you let go completely,you will be free.”

During the past year,I met H. and she was awesome,kind and loving.  But we both had our demons and we couldn’t sustain our relationship. It’s too bad.  I liked spending time with her.  It’s too bad we didn’t meet a couple of years after my divorce as I was probably not the best partner I could have been.  We’ve talked about if,if we’re both single three years from now we’ll get married.

But all said,Life is good.  Gus and I have settled down into bachelorhood.  We’ve been watching a lot of playoff hockey.  When I look at it,life is pretty good.  I got a raise.  The house is holding together and I’ve got money in my pocket.  I even have a seamstress that sews me custom Hawaiian shirts.  I’m slowing down on collecting “things”,after all they’re just “things”.

I’m about to go out to dinner with another lost soul.  Enjoy.



This about says it all . . . Welcome to my new blog.